Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Unkindest Kurt

Kurt Cobain would have been forty this week, giving music pundits across the world the chance to ask some courageous questions - 'What if he'd never killed himself? Where would he be? What would he be doing?' - and then follow it up with a hilarious joke about his taste in plaid shirts. But because Dummy always goes the extra mile, here are some equally hard-hitting and pertinent hypotheticals about the music you love:

What if Lily Allen had travelled back in time to kill Hitler as a baby?

What if the Arctic Monkeys had never invented the internet?

What if the Chemical Brothers had been raised by parrotfish?

What if Zane Lowe had been born as a real human boy with hot red blood in his veins instead of cold white synthetic goo?

What if Kevin Shields had been able to communicate with moss?

What if Oasis had been good?


Danny McFadden said...

What if Lily Allen had travelled back in time to kill Hitler as a baby?

This scenario will undoubtedly be keeping me awake tonight. Cheers.

Anonymous said...

What if Oasis had been good? Seriously? what isnt good about them, the fact that they wrote incredibly perfect pop rock songs, or that they were all very skilled musicians. It's really lame when people make lame statements like this, they may not have been as good as they thought they were, but c'mon they had somthing, and the fact that bands from all types of genres site them as an influence, can't just be a fluke. BTW I hate Oasis, but that don't mean they suck